Very strange start to the day, which began at around 3AM for me. God awful time. A few weeks ago I had watched The Exorcism of Emily Rose with Andrew and since then I have been terrified of waking up at 3AM, which is apparently the "devil's hour". Whether or not I believe in all of that stuff, I was horrified at the thought. And when I woke up at 3AM feeling sick I was also petrified. I tossed and turned until 320AM after getting up for water twice. After falling asleep until 930AM, I got up to take my shower, but I had left a load of laundry in the dryer the night before, so I headed to the basement to get it. I'm running low on clothes, I basically NEEDED to get this laundry.
Lovely. Opened the dryer door to find out that nothing had dried because I used the shitty dryer. Grand. Once I'd moved past not having any clothes I really wanted to wear, which was irritating, I went on with my day. When I woke up I saw that it was snowing outside. I do like the snow, but recently it has been sunny and nice in Burly...the snow was kind of a downer this morning.
Andrew and I were both pretty tired today, so we were snappy and miserable for a majority of the day. When the two of us are tired, we're complete assholes, both in terrible moods. Putting us together when we're both like this is just asking for a fight, luckily we were pretty tame today and moved past the tiredness. The day seemed to bring isolation. I didn't see much of my roommates or anyone really, though I did have a nice lunch with Andrew and Gareth, who I haven't seen for a few days, so it was nice to sit and talk with him for a while.
Now, as you may or may not know, my favorite TV show is Dexter, on Showtime. I just got into it this year and bought seasons 1-4 on DVD, watched season 5 online, and am greatly anticipating season 6 which will be premiering in September of this year. If you haven't seen it, you should! A serial killer who only kills "bad" people...may sound silly, I thought it was, until I saw it and became infatuated. Anyway, the show is based on the book called Darkly Dreaming Dexter, by Jeff Lindsay. Andrew got it for me for my birthday this year and I've been reading it and I LOVE IT. It's fantastic and I'm trying to read it without picturing the characters from the show. I've done a pretty good job, but it's difficult because the show is actually spot on. The character I'm getting to know in the book is the character I've been watching on Dexter. Such an accurate depiction of Dexter Morgan, it's uncanny.
Sidenote: While in class I started thinking about my first year of college and the emotional things I had gone through and the growth that I'm still going through. A week or so ago, Morgan had told me about a letter Champlain had sent home to all parents that told them of what a first year student usually goes through while at college for the first time. How we would feel about home, school, the area, our lives, everything. Morgan said her mother had read off some things and Morgan was freaked to realize she had gone through everything when the letter said she would. I looked into this and found something called The W Curve, which shows the journey a first year college student takes emotionally. It scared me to see that I went through everything it talked about and I saw the same thing in my friends!
On a different note, this year I decided to start a new tradition for myself on my birthday. My birthday was on the 17th and I hadn't gotten a chance to start it up, but my plan was to get one balloon and tie a note to it that read a worry I was ready to get rid of. One of my roommates had swiped a few balloons from the recent Job Fair that was held here at Champlain and this was my chance! I took one of the balloons and wrote a note and tied it to it. It read "Uncertainty is always certain." I suppose it's not specifically a worry I'd like to get rid of, but something I've come to accept and live by. It was a nice first let go.
The photo is awful quality, but there it is! Andrew and I went outside to let it go and it flew high in the sky in just seconds. We spent fifteen minutes or so watching it get taken away by the wind. It climbed high and traveled far, I'm pretty sure it was hovering over Shelburne, the neighboring town, after five minutes. The tradition has begun and it did exactly what I wanted it to do. Watching the balloon let go and just drift on without a care helped me accept what I needed to and let go of what I needed to. And that note will stay with me until next year on my birthday when I turn the big 2-0! That's a scary, scary, scary thought, but it's a positive thing! Need to remember that. I took a short video of the balloon on its journey from the stoop of McDonald Hall to wherever it is now, check it out if you'd like!
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