I'm Not Bored, I'm Just Not Entertained

I've pinpointed why I'm so restless at home, I touched on it a bit in my last post, but I've finally decided the reason. I'm not doing anything! While I was in Burlington I was surrounded by good friends, taking classes, able to get around even if it was by foot, and I was working more often than not. Now I'm stranded at my house because due to the lack of funds I have no license, no car, and no insurance even if there was a car available. This is nothing new either, I wasn't able to seek employment my entire high school career really because I wasn't able to get myself around anywhere.

And here I am, five years later and I'm still unable to work. Hopefully I can maybe find something downtown at some point in the next month or two because I could at least take the train to downtown Andover. Thank God for public transportation! Only a $2 fee at most too, since it's one stop down from Ballardvale. I'm crossing my fingers, still!

Today I had an interview though for a job that I knew I wasn't going to accept if it were offered to me. It was so incredibly disappointing and upsetting. I've been searching and searching for a job, becoming more and more restless sitting in my house day after day doing the same thing, and then an opportunity arrises and it's all a load of crap. A company called Vector Marketing was hiring for summer work, though I didn't know much about them. I filled out an application the second my best friend Deanna told me about it and set up an interview for today. The second I got off the phone I was ecstatic only to find out from my mom that it's a big scam and they title you as an "independent sales representative" selling knife sets door to door, basically. They suggest using "personal networking", but let's face it...that isn't happening, especially if the sets are $1,000 each! No one is buying that! No one has the money to buy that!


The interview was awful, I was honest with the manager and I said, "The whole marketing thing isn't really a good fit for me." I had told him I didn't know what the job consisted of and he gave me a practiced and sugar coated idea of what it was all about and I still didn't fully understand. I knew it wasn't for me and shook his hand and left. It went awful. I was so upset. After that I headed to J'Adore Boutique, owned by our family friend Michelle, in Wakefield. After that we headed towards an adorable cafe called Cafe Le Diva. Mini chandeliers hung from the ceiling, they sold Italian deserts and coffee, and had original paintings of Marilyn Monroe and sassy outfits hung on the walls. Morgan would be in heaven. 

Now here I am back at home still defeated. Luckily I've been passing a lot of my time by reading. Deanna had told me about a book called, "Water For Elephants" that she had read and then seen the movie rendition with her mother since it was recently released. She had been raving about it so I thought I'd pick up the book when I happened to come across it in Marshalls. I've more than halfway through it now and it's beautiful, definitely one of my all time favorites now. I won't be able to finish before the movie leaves theaters most likely, if it hasn't already, so I'm looking forward to seeing it when it's out on DVD. Besides, Robert Pattinson is the lead...how could it be a let down?

Over A Month Later...

Finals are over, I no longer live in Burlington, and life is almost too tranquil in Andover. It was a sad sight, watching my roommates leave me one by one and watching as the room became a lot bigger, but a lot more empty as well. 

I can't really describe how I was feeling as the room became less and less like the room I had lived in all year. Part of me was reliving move-in day and how exciting it was, the house even smelt like it did back in August which was extraordinarily strange. But now it was emptying out and the excitement wasn't as tangible. Yes, everyone was excited for summer break, but I'm more than certain there was an underlying layer of sadness as we left McDonald Hall and all the friends we had made that year and become so close with. Bittersweet is the only way to really describe it, utterly bittersweet. My side of the room looked completely normal, lived in, and like my own, but as you can see...Morgan and Lauren's side was bare and it was eerie. 

The last few nights were spent with Andrew mainly, as Morgan had left on Wednesday and Lauren left on Friday. Andrew and I, along with half of the rest of the dorm, were left to spend the final night in McDonald until Saturday when we had to peel out. It was crazy, McDonald Hall was. People were up until way past 2AM out on the stoop because the weather had warmed up and running up and down the hallways, it was nuts. An eventful last night, but no details are needed. I said all of my goodbyes when I needed to and tied up some loose ends before summer separated me from my life in Burlington for four months. The following morning I got up just as my parents arrived and Andrew and I loaded up our cars, had one last meal at the dining hall, and headed on home.

Now it's summer and I'm at home, starving for entertainment or productivity of some sorts. My job search has been extensive, but hasn't turned up any good results and I sit at home, ask my friends to pick me up because I'm not mobile, and read.

Hi summer. Go away.